Trouble is a Friend
by Renothy
Summary: In which the world's scariest couple is born.


Hello,

So yeah... I'm the author of 'A Kiss On the Cheek' and look guys, I wrote that thing when I was in the ninth grade... I'm a bit embarrassed to say that I wrote the story because it's poorly written but the idea isn't _that_ bad I guess. I might rewrite it, probably not or I might just turn it into a one-shot. So yeah. Trouble is a Friend will be made up of just random stories I thought up of on the spot. There will be AU's and maybe just really weird stuff. I WARNED YOU, this is like me welcoming you to my brain. (lol) _  
_

story o1: Scariest Couple Award Goes to...

Au

Summary: In which the world's scariest couple is born.

Enjoy!

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**I**t's never a surprise when Haruno Sakura is angry. Now, it wasn't that she's hateful or rude; she just accidentally inherited her temper from a certain blonde-haired Hokage. The people of Konoha constantly turn a blind eye when said pink-haired medic yells, punches, kicks, slaps, or on some occasion's uppercuts loud blondes (read: Naruto), perverted old men (read: Jiraiya) or all the men in rookie 9.

Obviously, she was known as a sweet lady but also a very, _very_ scary woman

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Uchiha Sasuke was known as being quiet, solemn and calm (read: but not as calm as his older brother, but don't ever tell him or else he'd chidori you to next week). Other than being quite infamous for his booming fan club, Sasuke was known for his temper. It was _also_ a known fact that one person who was particularly excellent at triggering his anger was none other than Uzumaki Naruto.

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Now as explained quite thoroughly, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura were both very scary people when angered. An expert in this field would be Uzumaki Naruto, a stunning lad who was newly named as the Hokage of Konoha about a week ago. He is all but twenty-five years old and at the peak of his youth. For years, he has experienced the wrath of both Haruno and Uchiha but never has he ever been in a scenario in which _both_ of said two monsters were angry at the _same_ person.

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(read: at Uzumaki Naruto)

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"You did _what?" _

Naruto grimaced as he timidly lifted a ducky blanket off the carrycot.

"Well, I just thought that Ryosuke's hair was getting a bit too long so I decided to trim it!" He said.

Sakura darted her eyes from her first son to his idiot uncle, "You SHAVED a part of his freaking head Naruto! You managed to ruin my baby, Ryosuke isn't even a year old yet!"

Naruto nervously glanced at the monstrosity's—I mean Sakura's husband, Uchiha Sasuke. The stupid pale man was casually sitting on the couch, polishing some kunai for their next mission in a couple of days.

"Sasuke! Say something to your idiot friend here who completely ruined your only child's hair!" It was kind of a _say-something-or-else-you-won't-be-getting-any-ton ight_ tone of voice that Sasuke quickly picked up.

The kunai was set down and Sasuke got up from the couch to look at how bad the haircut really was.

There, in the little carrycot, was little 9 month-old Ryosuke just gurgling and giggling as he attempted to chew on a spoon. And with no surprise, about a quarter of his hair was shaved off leaving a clean black buzz cut.

"…It looks fine to me, just shave the rest off."

Naruto let out a breath of relief, "yeah Sakura-chan, it isn't that bad, I'll just grab Ryosuke and bring him to the washroom, it'll grow back sooner or later don't worry!"

He nervously grabbed the chubby baby to quickly escape Sakura's glowering at Sasuke; she had the _you-are-sleeping-outside-of-the-gates-of-Konoha-to night_ look on her face_. _However, his hands were a bit slippery from the cold sweat that stuck onto his body after being terrorized by Sakura and thus, he watched in slow motion as the cute half shaved little baby dropped to the floor.

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A piercing cry broke the silence as Naruto looked at the baby who had just been dropped.

"Did you…"

He looked up from the baby to meet the two menacing figures in front of him with absolute horror.

It was one of those typical scenes you see in anime and comics where both Sakura and Sasuke's faces were covered by their bangs; their faces were not visible.

Yeah maybe to anyone watching the scene, but Naruto can see their faces crystal fucking clear and if he wasn't Hokage (or maybe if he had drank some water beforehand, good thing his tank is empty) he would've pissed his pants by now.

"Did you just drop our baby?" Sakura asked quietly.

Sasuke just went on to stare at their crying baby.

"Okay guys, I know this looks bad but _don't worry—" "I'll fucking worry if I want to Uzumaki!" "—_Ryosuke is probably completely fine!"

The blonde quickly went to pick the baby up, "_Do _not_ touch my fucking baby Dobe." _

Holy shit Teme's mad too.

Sakura quickly swept Ryosuke off the ground and gently cradled the little baby in her arms. After a couple of seconds, the baby stopped crying and began to coo again at his mother.

"See? He's all better; well I'm just going to back to Hinata-chan and little Ayame-chan see you later guys!" Naruto headed for the door.

In a blink of an eye, Sasuke was blocking his path with his sharigan activated; the tomoe's were quickly spinning.

"Look guys, I'm _really_ sorry about your kid! It was an honest accident!" Said Naruto.

"Naruto," a calm voice called him and he looked over his shoulder, Sakura set Ryosuke down in his crib and slowly began to walk towards him, "we just want to show you what will occur if this happens a second time…a warning."

To this day, Naruto is able to show anyone in Konoha scars from this incident.

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Tsunade reluctantly healed the stupid blonde, "Naruto you're an idiot."

Said blonde looked up at the woman from his bed and spoke loud enough to be heard past his bandages that covered most of his body, "Baa-chan I swear it was an accident!"

"That's great Naruto, but not only did the Uchiha's forbid you to go anywhere near Ryosuke for three years but you're also not allowed to be near any scissors or shavers…_Ever."_

_Thus, the world's scariest couple was born._

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_Hope you enjoyed reading this...thing. _


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